Some general questions:

• What part of the world do you live in?

• What is the size, gender balance, and relationship success rate of your friendship group?

• What dating methods do you intend to use?

• What are your political views e.g. in terms of economics, government, and progressivism (particularly gender equality)?

• What are your free-time hobbies, and what topics do you enjoy chatting about, both for small talk and deep discussions?

• Do you have any neurodivergence?

• Do you find it difficult to enjoy the company of, compassionately care about, and trust people you meet?

• Do any you have a date-me-doc? e.g. https://dateme.directory/

These questions vastly affect the odds in my opinion

Good luck :)

@TheAllMemeingEye

I'm not going to answer these in public, because I cannot delete manifold comments, and, even if I could, the internet is forever and most of this is way too personal. Happy to talk over messages.

My wife says you should go to pottery classes. Will you go?

@tarehart Probably not

Update: finally went on a date, but she hasn't responded to any follow-up messages.

What'd you do on the date?

Are you straight?

Yep. Straight, cis male in my 20s.

Do you own chinos?

@NivlacM Nope. I had not heard of those until now.

@NivlacM I'm noticing a pattern in your advice haha

@TheAllMemeingEye They're key!!!

@NivlacM Where is the data supporting this alleged advantage lol, I'm beginning to think you're in the pocket of Big Chino! (pun unintended)

Update: No girlfriend yet. I'm on a few dating apps but it hasn't gone well- no dates. I've also tried asking out women in person but they're typically either taken or not attracted to men.

What fraction of them have been not attracted to men?

Update?

@benjaminIkutab no progress. Anything more specific you'd suggest as a shareholder?

What exactly is the bottleneck, you get plenty of matches, but you don't like any of their conversations?

@benjaminIkuta I don't get matches and I don't really attend non-rationalist-adjacent social events (since I don't hear about them). I'm not entirely sure what I should do.

@JoeC get better photos. Use Photofeeler, hire a photographer if you need to. Join the Optimized Dating discord server for advice.

@benjaminIkuta I see. Do you know of any good places to hire a photographer?

Cheap: https://www.snappr.com/

Expensive: https://thematchartist.com/

You can also search Instagram for the hashtag "[city name]photographer"

@benjaminIkuta if you go with Snappr or Instagram, for best results, evaluate their portfolio first by either asking on the discord or testing the photos on Photofeeler

i would not recommend getting a photographer! i think taking casual pictures with friends is a much more authentic way to go

Lucky you, having friends! But yes, that's also good. Genuine smiles are superior. The best thing is having a friend who is an amateur photographer.

i think sometimes it can be awkward, but if you’re ever with a group of friends having a nice time a quick “let’s take a picture!” can go a long way